Monday, June 13, 2011

Guilt


So after my mother proceeds to make me feel guilty for moving away and leaving her . . . which I did over 20 years ago . . . and I tell her to not make me feel guilty, that I would never make my children feel guilty (would I?) . . . she tells me that she is not making me feel guilty, that I am allowing myself to feel guilty and I should not do that . . . I should never let anyone make me feel guilty.

I guess those words and tonights beautiful rainbow give me peace after an extremely stressful, emotional day. My brother tells me not to think about it, that if I dwell on it, the hurt will not go away. My sister tells me it was the only choice. My other sister tells me she is sorry she could not be with me.

Today's Bible verse was, "Lift up your eyes now and look from the place where you are, northward and southward and eastward and westward." Genesis 13:14 And Rachel ended an essay today with . . . "There's not always going to be someone to take you out of misery, sometimes you have to do that on your own." So I shall stand up, dry my tears, brush myself off and try to remember that life goes on . . .

4 comments:

hapi said...

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Kay said...

I'm sorry, Joyce. That's so hard.

Thank you for your visits. I'm still so horribly jet lagged from the Yellowstone trip. I don't know what's the matter with me. I think I might have goofed up my thyroid medication. I'm trying to get through the thousands of photos that were taken by three cameras and it's exhausting! Sigh. I'll be coming back to catch up once my world straightens up.

llq said...

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Cheryl said...

Joyce, I am so sorry. I hope that things are going smoothly and all is well. Take care.